In the Near Future...

Merry Xmas

2010-12-25T12:22:00.000-08:00

So today is December 25th the alleged birthday of Jesus Christ and is the season of the giving spirit. Unfortunately today for me this day was a day of solitude and reflection after my girl and I got into a ridiculous fight on Xmas eve. This fight has its roots in my inadequacies and once again i got dragged into a shouting match with my girlfriend and im sick of the same fights, ending the same way, with the same results. I would like to get to the root of my issues because i realize that i put the people i love in awkward predicaments due to my selfish ways and insecure moments, i just dont know how and i would like help. Moreover, that help is not coming anytime soon and therefore have to do this on my own, which seems to be a consistent theme, as i age. Speaking of aging, i turn 28 in three days and the holidays has always been a sore spot for me due to my bdays negligence in part of xmas and new years eve. Add in bowl games, pro football and basketball games, tournaments, and what have you and ya boy feels lost in the crowd. All in all, im getting older and the same problems persist, and i need to modify how i deal with them....

Muy Aburrido

2010-12-23T18:15:00.001-08:00

So I am at Zeina's bored to death. I am attempting to write consistently but this is my first attempt, we'll see how constant ill become when it comes to getting my thoughts into the internetsphere. Christmas is 2 days away, my bday is 5 and 2011 is 9. Im finished with school, so far i think i passed my class with B averages, indicative of my awesome level of intelligence mixed with my awesome level of procrastination. Had i not be comfy with the latter, i know i wouldve banged out A's easily, but i didnt care that much, but i cared enough lol.

4th Dimensional Transition...

2010-09-11T19:46:00.000-07:00

Over two weeks ago I got fired from a job where i loved the people i encountered on a daily basis. Some really strange characters. There was this older gentleman that i became fond of, Homer, who gave me a good gem of advice. He said, "Whatever it is that you love, fight for it." I remember the day he told me because immediately after he said that i got goosebumps. There was this other gentleman named Felipe, cool nerdy man who had a girlfriend who was half of a full set of twins. Her sister, Barbara, had this persistent crush on me and promised to bake me some desserts and bring them in, my last nite i worked. These were the people i would encounter on a daily basis. On top of that, the people i worked with were and still are phenomenal with so many flaws, that to not have multiple would've merited you a scarlet letter of some sort.

In retrospect, the time spent in that place was influential in my personal development and my drive became affected by it. I became more lackadaisical than at any point in my life. I became secure in my place of employment and then became involved with my current girlfriend. The sense of foundation was established through these two constants in my life. Until recently my "sense of foundation" has been modified to a point of consistent inconsistencies. I have no idea where I will be, financially, in two weeks let alone two months. My relationship seems more volatile than nitroglycerin on a sailboat in a CAT5 hurricane. My best hasn't been good enough for a long time now and the feeling of failure is becoming more like a burden. Blame should be attributed to myself, but so many factors are present that cannot be ignored. Nonetheless, persist I shall. There is a void that will stay empty no longer. Regardless of where I'm going, my glass is half full and will become more full as time crawls along. It's just a matter of time before....

Got more Issues than a Jet Magazine

2010-03-16T01:06:00.000-07:00

I honestly don't have a particular subject in mind to write about today, but I feel compelled to type something. Actually on second thought, this past weekend was kind of crazy, weather-wise, becuase if you didnt know any better, a hurricane passed through jerz. To be straight with you, it was a Nor'Easter which is defined as a cyclonic storm that passes thorugh the northeast during the fall or winter time, bringing high winds and apparently lots of destruction with it. Trees were uprooted, signs were destroyed, and roofs were damaged. However, no lives were lost, to my knowledge but electricity and heat was, to various residences throughout NJ. The storm came and went Saturday and even on Monday people still have no power or hot water.

Mother nature is upset with humankind at this point, I'm convinced of it. The frequency of earthquakes around the world, the strength of storms, the duration of these storms and where they take place are no coincedence. The threshold has been reached and it is obvious that we have to deal with the situation in front of us because there is no turning back. As a people, we have to atone for our misconduct. Lives will be loss, damage will be done, and money will be spent all because we had selfish ways and uncaring attitudes towards our environment. Additionally, conversing with friends on Sunday (the day after tomorrow style lol) I voiced how if this summer is a record one with heat or some sort of annihalator hurricane/typhoon/cyclone, what have you, we'll know that Gaia is definitely feeling some sort of way.

Despite all this dark and dreary talk, do not let anything keep you from living the life you live. (lol) Go out, handle your handle and do what you do. Just dont be surprise if a million mph gust of wind sweeps you off the earth into the ionosphere into space and youre body decompresses, total recall style. *wink* Peace peace!

PS - Beautiful music is being made as we speak, as I have heard through the grapevine that MGMT will be coming out with a new album next month, Congratulations...word word WORD!

How would you know its good without the bad?

2010-03-12T02:14:00.000-08:00

So over the past few days I watched Capitalism: A Love Story and Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire and had this feeling that things are going to get alot worse before they get better. Admist all this "healthcare reform" talk that has been going on for at least a year, on top of the fact that I just got over a viral cold (with no insurance of course), there is this foreboding sentiment of stagnation, if not regression, that will accompany our already decaying society. Additionally, being a huge fan of history, I've become accustomed to hearing "history repeats itself." Since my teenage years, I have always wondered what society ours closely represents, and thanks to Mr. Moore's aforementioned film, the Roman Empire makes complete sense.

But @ the same time reading online and doing a little bit of research can only get you thus far. Even though I am living during a time of complete igorance and shallowness, I have had the good fortune to be aware of few positives amongst a dismal society. This is where Precious comes into play. This movie depicts harsh inner city life, lived by people who have been hurt and as a result hurt others, which happened to be powerful, sincere, and resonated in the soul. Despite the hardships faced by the main character, whose name is shared with the movie's title, there was no end in sight for her, who had every odd imaginable stacked against her, including (spoiler alert!) HIV, lack of literacy, two illegitimate children (one with down syndrome) from her father who sexually abused her, and a mentally oblivious, verbally and physically abusive, self-absorbed mother.

This brings me to my final point. In Capitalism, Congressman Elijah Cummings of Maryland spoke extensively with Michael Moore, in the special features section of the dvd. During their conversation, Cummings and Moore were discussing the plight of the american commonwealth and what road our misfortunes has placed us on. Paraphrasing, he essentially said that the youth of america turned their parents onto the "beautiful anomaly" known to us as, Barack Obama, whom evolved from a chicagoan city councilmen into a presidential candidate that eventually won the election (as we all are aware of thanks to the oversaturated media lol). This same youth maybe the energy and power behind the necessary command of change needed in today's society for tomorrow's legacy. Moreover, towards the end of Precious, after a moving performance by Mo'nique's character, the protaganist ends the film with a resolve lacking complacency, stating that she is currently reading on an 7th grade level soon to be 8th, in a year, she'll be on a high school level, and in another year, college. I believe that is the spirit Congressman Cummings was referring to when speaking about the youth being the catalysts for a better society, similar to the counter culture movement from the beatniks to the hippies to the pro-black ideals in the 50's, 60's & 70's. Nonetheless, this willpower will be imperative towards a shift in consciousness that will usher in a new age, hopefully, with little fight. Until, then, enjoy the shitshow lol. Peace and much love to ya!

PS - Good Music Note, just picked up the Gorillaz "Plastic Beach" album via iTunes, if you enjoy good eclectic tunes, do give a listen...here's a funky video that you may enjoy jack!

The Beginning of the end of West End

2010-03-10T12:18:00.000-08:00

Today one of my best friends just found out that their family business is donzo, which is unfortunate because it couldve been something if the situation was right. To be fair it was only open for a few months and (to me) the food was fantastic (and free lol) but it still sucks to delve into a new venture and not really have it pan out the way you want it to. Moreover, I'm kind of in a similar situation with a local event planning business that was started between me and a few biz partners, but that has had sooo many obstacles it makes the steeplechase look like duck duck goose.

On another note, I've been sensing alot of temptation coming my way and I may be reading into it too much (which hasnt really failed me, it just leads me to early assumptions)but at the same time I'd rather be safe than sorry. According to 19th century English Preacher, Charles H. Spurgeon, "Some temptations come to the industrious, but all temptations attack the idle” and if I'm sitting on my ass then it'll be easier to succumb to whatever comes my way. Prioritization is key to the things that are important in my life and to stay focused is equally important because I'm at an age where the stuff that i thought were cool, say 6 years ago, arent that cool.

All in all, ill keep my sights on music, it has always been there for me and has yet to fail me when i need it, so for the hip hop heads out there, Kidz in the Hall dropped a new album yesterday, and im digging the album art lol (like that has anything to do with the musical content). Peace and much love to ya!

...Genesis

2010-03-09T23:46:00.000-08:00

So yeah this is my first post and i dont know how i feel about it. But i think it will be "cathartic" as a Tyler Perry (whomever that guy is) said in regards to how Oprah Winfrey (whomever that lady is) described writing. (maybe i should find out what "cathartic" means and who this Mr. Perry and Ms. Winfry are to American society). According to Wikipedia (lol), carthartic is a substance which accelerates defecation...ok well lets put all the bullshit aside and do what it do lol.

Between battling viral attacks on my uppper respiratory system, ridding myself of impurities for Lent (i.e. giving up weed for a religion i dont care for), and picking up a few new habits while maintaining a sense of sanity, I'm feeling that I should let go from my ego/id (whatever keeps me selfish lol) that we learned about in high school psychology. I say high school psych because to be honest i didnt learn too much in college pyschology, esepcially when there were over 50 students in the class and attendance wasn't mandatory. Nonetheless, the realization of the "I" in conversations with random people have brought me to the understanding that I (<-- see its unavoidable!) am obviously self-centered but i need to get away from that. I have noticed that in certain conversations with persons older than I am, they are focused on theirselves more than those around them and its a little disheartening to have this be the case. It's kind of imperative that this needs to be a goal that should be accomplished soon because to walk around referring to myself in the first person is feeling a tad bit played out. On the other hand, talking about myself in the third person makes total sense lol. These are just my thoughts, quite boring ones to be candid, but apparently, i need a brain enema. Peace and much love to ya!

PS - Here's a Vid of my gf after getting her wisdom teeth removed, for my own personal amusement...ciao

PSS - RIP Christopher Wallace